If you had asked me back in January or even early February how I planned to make my great comeback for 2017, I would have painted a picture for you that included PRs and big races like marathons, another Ironman finish, and likely some other insane endurance races, too. I admit, I had myself convinced of all of this from January 1 and I got to work right away when the new year hit. Quickly, though, I realized my comeback picture was painted by the person I was prior to my roller-coaster 2016. The fit, healthy, I just finished Ironman #3 me. However, the person putting in all the work to make this comeback a reality was the new me. The I’ve gained 20lbs, my clothes don’t fit, barely-there-fitness me. I was pushing myself to swim, bike, and run paces I used to at heart rates I used to, and it just wasn’t happening. It was like a punch to the gut and definitely hard to accept. Even worse, I felt like I was robbing myself of my joy for these sports. I was putting so much pressure on myself to fulfill my “comeback” dream that I was missing the big picture completely.
After much self-reflection, I realized that it was time to come to terms with my weight gain and lack of fitness. In order to move forward, I needed to accept these two things. My constant comparison of the new me to the old me wasn’t doing me any good. It only created negative energy and doubt and not the joy I once knew. So? Change of plans – a new journey.
I’ve decided to focus more on me. I need to rebuild me, my fitness, and get down to the weight that I’m happy with for myself so that I can return to endurance racing, make gains, and fulfill big dreams. I’ve accepted this new journey and my number one goal is to find joy along the way, even in the struggles. No, it’s not the journey I originally had planned, but I know there’s much to learn and fun to be had! I’m still planning to “race” this year, but my focus won’t be on finishing another Ironman or setting PRs, at least not until very late in the season. Perhaps I should refer to this journey as my setup. The setup to my comeback.
Here’s to finding joy, no matter what the journey, and to setting myself up to be the best version of me possible!